Amaya -Finished-

[ayama]

Amaya of the Eastern Lands

Face


Body



Demon Form

[/COLOR][/B] » Amaya
SURNAME » N/A
NICKNAME » N/A
AGE » 550
APPEARS » Basically like the pictures seen above but with the following changes: For Amaya's Youkai form, the green fur's blue, the whiskers are about half of those of the pic, and she has more dragon like claws than bird. For her human hair in both human pics, it's the same length as the body, but the color's a blue/white color and she keeps it bound together at the nape of her neck. Amaya's body is close to the hourglass figure, but not quite. This is due to Amaya's low food intake and high excerise. She does eat, but not as much as one would think she would.
GENDER » female
SEXUALITY » straight
RACE » youkai -- ryuu
BLOOD » full
PROFESSION » ruler of the ryuu clans
EYES » Amber
HAIR » dark brown, almost black
HEIGHT » roughly 5'2" but don't let that fool you
WEIGHT » 154 lbs
SCARS » none
MARKINGS » see tattoo
TATTOOS » a tribal like tattoo under her left eye (see facial picture)
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[/COLOR][/B] »

DISLIKES »

STRENGTHS »

WEAKNESSES »

ALLIANCE » good
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[/COLOR][/B] » Haruko
FATHER » Hisashi
SISTERS » none
BROTHERS » In order from oldest to youngest: Katsu, Kou, Mamoru, and Sho
MATE » none -- yet
CHILDREN » none
OTHER » none
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[/COLOR] and I've been role playing for several years and I'd like to say that this looks interestin and my timezone is Eastern you can contact me at MSN: [e-mail] I've read the rules so I know the word is bitches I found this site through
his MSN name's non servium and my favorite Inuyasha character is Inuyasha but on here I also
play Amaya [/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/center]

THE RP SAMPLE »

I had spent an unknown amount of time without assignations, which was unusual for being one of the more popular adepts of Gentian. So instead of worrying over that little fact, I had taken some time to rearrange my room, which I believed to be a bit of a necessity, then began to wander the halls of the House. I looked up from moving my bed to see Antigone at the door way. I straighten, wiped my brow with the back of my forearm before I answered. "Moving my furniture around a bit. I can move things back, but I'm having a bit of a strain, as it were, on being able to decipher my own dreams."

"Well..." I began to move my bed again to where I had planned to move it. "I think they're mostly fantasy dreams. Some have been like what it would have been like if my mother hadn't been forced out of our kumpania by my grandfather when they learned I was didikani. Others have been when my marque's complete and I follow one of the two Lungo Drom I see before me. Starting my own salon or offering my services to Queen Sabrina." (Question: "In your dream, the one where you're still in the kumpania, does the time of day change?") "I'm not sure, I wasn't really keeping track." I stood from pushing the bed. "This may sound odd coming from a Gentian adept, but is that even possible; having dream visions? I doubt I could use the Dromonde in my sleep."

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[kitagawa tsuzuki]

Heyy Amaya
Okay, just a few things... first off, your personality has me a little confused... Whats all this about getting her stoicism from Sesshomaru? I feel like I remember this character and know why you added that, but OC/Canon relationships are pretty strict on here. Aside from that, I'd reread for grammatical errors, as there's some punctuation and flow problems. Also, you don't really need an explanation as to what your sample is about, if the RPing is done well we should be able to tell ~.^

[ayama]

I don't plan on having an OC/Canon relationship between Amaya and Sesshomaru. The personality stoicism was a comparison for Amaya. And how can there be grammatical and flow problems when I copy/pasted?

[shimazaki squee]

Here are a few examples of what Zuki means:

1] "...trustworthy as they maybe." Should be may be.

2] "Amaya has been given away by one..." Should be had since you're speaking in past tense.

3] "Year after year past before at the age of 49..." Should be passed, since you're speaking in past tense.

Also there are some flow problems with a few of your sentences. You added some words that just don't fit, or you've used commas where a period should be.

If you just do a quick read through on a few of your paragraphs you'll see the few mistakes. With the new site, we are going to be a bit stricter with applications and posting, because we want to take a step up in our RP-ing. It's nothing personal against any one person, and you may notice that a lot of people are being grilled on their grammar. Just fix the few mistakes, and what ever else Zuki pointed out and your app will be excepted.

-- Squee.

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[ayama]

Fixed

[keo]

-waves hands dismissively- Whatever. xP